Donald Trump, Nobel Prize winner in literature

Donald Trump was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, but it's much more appropriate to win the Nobel Prize for Literature. This Monday he demonstrated this in Washington, D.C. He gave a speech—a recitation, in fact—to explain Why is the National Guard deployed in the city?. The poem, rape or recitation he has uttered is the following, which I try to translate without betraying. It is a vibrant text, full of metaphorical vivacity, a monologue that leaves Shakespeare on the level of EL James. For a greater enjoyment of this lofty creation, I allow myself to transcribe it in verse: